This crazy week!

This has been the longest week of my life, and I certainly don't mena that in a good way! My stomach has been killing me all week and I have no clue why hurts so bad all the. The weather here has been insane! I so cannot wait until summer! I thought i like snow, but after this week I don't think so anymore. I have arthritis and this weather has made me so sore all week long. I can't get enough sleep, because my legs would hurt so bad during the night. I haven't been able to hardly eat anything, because of my stomach. I have been so sick all week long and it was like everything bad had to happe this week and the sad thing is this week isn't over and I still been feeling sick to my stomach. I have been stuck in this apartment all week, because of this crazy insane weahter. I give props to those who live in areas were its normal to have blizzards, because I could so never live there! I really don't know how you guys do it! If I move I would move some where like Florida or California! I know this is random, but I wanted to see the new show off the map,but my sister wants to see hot in cleveland, and of course my luck it comes on the same night at the same time! My luck sucks, any way thats all of my depressing life for today.

How can you love someone one day and then decide the next you don't?

OK I know my blogs are probably, well is the most depressing blog you will read, but I have to let my anger out some how. I am 20 years old, and I don't have the slightest clue with what I want to do for a living and I'm still living with my mother, although she is the greatest mother on earth, (I know my opinion lol) I do think it is a little sad to still be living with her. I'm not going to college right now because I have no idea where I want to go or what to go for. Anyway, I am so tired of just sitting around the house with nothing to do. I am so tired of being mad and i don't know why I can't just move on, because in all honesty my father never gave a crap about me! I'm trying so hard not to become a sexist,but I so wonder if there is any good men out there. It is so hard, because every single relationship, of any kind, has sucked! I maybe crazy for saying this, but i just can't seem to understand why someone can pretend for 19 years that they care about you then all of sudden decides he don't care about you anymore. Why can't i just not care anymore, instead of feeling this pain. It sure would be heck of a lot easier to deal with. hopefully someday I will be able to just forget about him, but it certainly isn't in the near future. Its not just the crap he said or did to me, but how he treated my mother and my sisters. No one could never do anything  right. That man is so stubborn that I think if you told him the sky is blue he would argue that it is green, just so he could argue. He has the nerve to tell me that he knows how it is to have arthritis, (I know arthritis is nothing compare to other diseases out there and that is not what I'm trying to say by any means),  and he don't have it! He would just argue with me and tell me what I need to do. I was going to New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary to become a missionary, but I am no long er going there. He would tell me over and over again that I am not going to be pay for that job. I told him that God would provide for me and he would say God wants you to work for your money! I said I just want to do what God wanted me to do. He would say he wants you to go get a real job! I believe with all my heart God can get any one he wants to saved, but I think it would take Jesus himself to come and to save him personally! I know I probably should not say that, but I can't help, but to believe that.  If you read this remember one thing, that I am a true christian and I love Jesus with all of my heart, but I am only human and i have to let my anger out some how. Anyway, I hope if any man is reading this please ignore my comments about hating all men, i rattled on sometimes lol. I don't really meant it

Moving

I live in Elberton,but right after Christmas me and my mom and my two other sisters will be moving to Bowman. We will move into a 1 bedroom apartment. I am really worried about us not having enough room, but we will get over it. I am trying to look at this as a new chapter in my life.We moved the first of January so we started the new year in the new apartment. Its not as bad as I thought it was going to be concerning the space . We make it work. It is still kind of weird living in Bowman, living in the town. I always lived in the woods. I do miss it some, but i can get use to this pretty fast. This is my first blog so I am going to give some basic info. about me. I am 20 years old . I am a 31 Consultant, that is a christian based company that sales pocket books, wallets etc. I am working on geeting our new apartment organized and trying to find room for all of our sutff. I have sastemic rheumotoid arthritis, I've had that since i was 19 months old. So I have had my fair share of doctor visits. I am trying to decied what i want to do for a living. I thought about doing missions, I really thought that is what God wanted me to do, but stuffs happened that made me rethink if that is what he wants. I really dont want to say why right now,maybe later. Right now i just feel like i am at a stopping point. I don't know what to do next. Im not even going to school right now. So I have no Idea what I would like to do for a living. I am praying about it hopefully God will give me the answer soon. Well that is all for today